Taking Responsibility

I’m talking about my health. But not the way I’ve been talking about it the last six months. This is a new start.

(These photos are from various places we’ve camped across the US and Canada, since I don’t have photos of where we are now, unpicturesque Livingston, Texas.)

My doctors here near Houston say I have no underlying illness causing my complaints. That’s a massive relief. (See my previous post for background.)

I’m not entirely convinced, so I might see my old endocrinologist from last winter once we get back to Brownsville this winter. She considered my case as being tricky to diagnose, so I’m going to rule out her suspicions with her.

Until then, though, I’m trusting these new results. And I’m taking responsibility for my individual symptoms, best as I can.

My main problem is terrible sleep, which has led me down a familiar path of bad sleep habits. I’m going to jumpstart that effort of better habits, once again. I’m also trying a new med and will drag out the brain-wave changing device.

My swollen knee has kept me from exercising. So I’m getting it drained and using a prescription cream. It’s time I rest it properly and keep it uninjured, with the goal of getting back to daily workouts.

Habit is the key, although I like the more positive word, “practice.” My practice, for both sleep and exercise, might restart slowly, but it must restart intentionally. If I could do knee exercises nearly every day for five months, I can channel that dedication to daily light yoga, then increase strength and intensity.

As for eating, I’m going to wear a glucose monitor to see how that affects my A1c. Improved sleep and regular exercise should help there, too.

I’m not pre-diabetic, I’m pre-improvement.

This change all boils down to responsibility. I’ve been waiting for some kind of big diagnosis for six months, thinking my health complaints are all due to something I can’t do anything about. I’ve fallen into a spiral of feeling and acting helpless.

I’m not going to punish myself for letting this happen. Menopause changes your body and your outlook, and that’s not my fault. Injuring my knee twice recently hasn’t helped. But, I can work on my complaints individually, and I can see them as that, complaints not symptoms.

Four years ago, I was in the best shape of my life. Since then, with Covid, with this massive lifestyle change, with menopause and knee reconstruction, I’ve lost my mojo.

Time to take responsibility and get it back.

16 thoughts to “Taking Responsibility”

  1. I suppose it’s good news there’s no serious illness to diagnose, but I feel you. Though I didn’t have Covid menopause has completely my body and general health. I have trouble sleeping, achy joints, knee pain and fatigue as well as hot flashes, night sweats, muscle loss, weight gain and a slight bit of brain fog now and then. I hardly recognize myself anymore and it seriously sucks.

    1. Menopause is terrible! I take hormones just for that, and they helped with a bunch of symptoms you have. I know not everyone can take them, though.
      I didn’t mean I have long Covid symptoms, just that Covid changed the way we interact with the public, and heck, view the public. Seems like life has changed in so many ways. I’m responsible for myself though, and that I can work on more.

      1. I was on hormone replacement therapy for a few years and it was great, but they won’t keep you on it forever and as soon as they started reducing my dose the symptoms came back. With a vengeance.

  2. It was important to do all the medical checks too, to get to this point, so don’t fault yourself for that. Your commitment to regain control of those things you can do is a good next step forward. Unfortunate it impacts yours lives so much because of your nomadic lifestyle, but you will get back to that. Be patient. I know it’ll be another year before I can kneel on my knee, and I still have some tingling since getting the new knee in October. But I think that’s just the nature of the beast. Just got home from PT for my shoulder, which was causing hand/arm problems. We are at the age where managing our health (mental as well as physical) is our new full time job! 🙂

    1. You are right, Renee. I just got to this point in my life—when managing my health is a big job—so quickly! I guess everyone says that. And don’t even tease me with the idea of being able to kneel again. There is so much kneeling I used to do in the trailer to reach bins above the bed, above the sofa, under the sofa, under the bed. I never knew kneeling would be such a luxury. Thanks for chiming in, Renee. Love to you and Dave.

  3. You clearly haven’t lost your photography skills, at least. All these shots are beautiful!

    “No underlying illness” is always a good thing to hear. Hope your Brownsville endocrinologist concurs.

    1. Those shots are good, aren’t they! After I published the post, I went back and added that they’re from all over the place the past four years. And yes, the heath news is good, and I am relieved most of the time. Also kicking myself for all this trouble for nothing. Although I know it’s not nothing. Just feels like it. Thanks for the wishes!

  4. Your photos are outstanding! You are very talented! Good for you to do what is needed to be feeling better and healthy again. Great job!

    1. Oh, I’ve no skill with the photos: I took these just using my little phone. Thanks, though!

  5. So good to hear there is no detectable major underlying issues. I’d read somehere that endocrive system is the most compl;ex and mysterious; second only to the nueral system… and that both together make for even more mystery. I am finding i have to do daily things to deal with my creaks and squeaks. Time is relenteless, but no matrter what, each day is its own adventure.

    1. Yes, I’m finding out the same about the endocrine system, how much of your body it manages and how complexly. That’s why I’ve gone to such great lengths to figure this out.
      That’s a fabulous outlook, your last sentence. Thanks!

  6. Don’t beat yourself up – whether your symptoms are psychosomatic or not, you are still feeling them. But it’s always better to have a “nothing abnormal found” diagnosis. I hope your new approach helps and I too love your photos

    1. Thanks for the support and kind words about the photos. Maybe “beating myself up” is one of my new conditions!

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